| Long Overdue Entry |
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| 10:58pm 22/06/2003 |
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Hey ya'll. I'm real sorry I haven't updated lately, but I've been busy in Metropolis. Finding myself. And oh boy did I find myself. Hey, did you guys know I was gay?! Me neither! Huh. Anyway, I got a wild hair up my ass this summer (heh, and that's not all that was up my ass, lemme tell ya, and took off to the big city. Why? Oh, I had some foolish notion that horrible things would happen to my family and friends if I stayed in Smallville. A few weeks of living in Metropolis, the bustling commercial center of Kansas, and I realized something. Well, two things, first there was the gay thing, and then there was the fact that bad shit happens everywhere, all the time. I mean, if I had a dime for every drag queen I've seen stopped by muggers... anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I went off to learn something and I did! I realized why my behavior of late had been so suspicious, and I also realized why I had so much trouble choosing between Lana and Chloe. It's because neither of them has a big, hard cock. And that, apparently, is important to me. I also realized that not only am I gay, but also Lex is gay.
This realization led me to believe that all the 'accidental' groping and leering and stroking was not as accidental as he led me to believe. It also explains the strange 'african fertility art' he had hidden away in his closet. Beautify every room in the home, my ass. No, really, my ass will beautify every room in his home. That's another thing I learned this summer. I have a great ass. Maybe I'll buy a digital camera and take pictures. But that's getting off the point again. And trust me, I'm not interested in getting off the point again anytime soon. Heh.
Right, anyway, I've made the decision to seduce lex. Because he's hot. And that one time he gave me that accidental head when he thought I was asleep, he was really good at it. Hey, maybe I should've realized then that I was gay? Right, again, off the point. So I'm going to seduce Lex... but I don't really know how I should start that. Come to think of it, I don't really know where Lex is. Haven't seen him, since I've been in Metropolis and I highly doubt we travelled in the same circles. Maybe I should call one of the many numbers I have for him (how could I not realize he was gay, really?) and see if I can catch up with him.
OH! Telling mom and dad wen't pretty well. All I really had to say was "Look, I'm gay. And trust me, you don't want to fuck with the big gay alien, so back the fuck off." And they did! It was great. Glowering threateningly at the barn didn't hurt, I don't think. And hey! Don't think I didn't hear you muttering about teenage angst and phases, because I did! Parents. You'd think they'd never come out of the big gay alien closet.
So guys, do you have any suggestions on how to get Lex interested in me? In the past, all I've had to do is stand in the club and pout my pouty lips and I get picked up by whoever, but I've never set out after a particular guy. And how do I know if he's a top or a bottom? Anybody know? They should really have a national registry of these things. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| still alive |
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| 12:58am 18/02/2003 |
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mood:  surprised
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huh. forgot about this journal thing with all that is going on around here.
spent day in cave. went to school too. talon. castle. barn. torch orfice. gym. ... ok, this could get long.
lex has a little brother. now will have to reevaluate my position with him, as 'the brother i never had' is obviously no longer accurate.
played a little one on one with lucas. showed his ass up quite spectacularly, i am happy to say. he wants a rematch. i told him i'd need to check my schedule.
i'll need a good ego boost after thursday's trig test, for sure.
didn't get to kil - i mean - stop any meteor freaks today. damn. |
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| 02:32pm 18/01/2003 |
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mood: happy
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Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated for so long, I've been really busy and stuff. Pete and I have been hanging out an awful lot, which is nice, but I really don't see as much of Lex as I used to. What with his dad living there now, it's a little awkward when we just wanna hang out.
Whitney came home last week. That was really awesome. I never got a chance to tell him how happy I was to see him though, since he turned out to be that weird Tina girl. Tina was in love with Lana I guess. Heh, lesbians are hot.
I had a friend make me this poll, just because. Not for any reason. I don't have any secrets, I'm just a normal Kansas farmboy. Really.
Poll #93260
Secrets
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 41
If I had a secret, a big secret, who should I tell?
View Answers
| Lana |
   0 (0.0%) |
| Chloe |
| 3 (7.3%) |
| Lex |
| 22 (53.7%) |
| No one, for secrets have the power to destroy you. |
| 4 (9.8%) |
| You shouldn't keep secrets. Relationships built on lies are doomed to fail. |
| 3 (7.3%) |
| Just a small group of friends, maybe then they can help you and stuff. |
| 3 (7.3%) |
| A trusted adult. |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| Me.. you can tell me... |
| 6 (14.6%) |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| 01:49am 15/09/2002 |
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mood:  hungry
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Today, at the golf course, I was eating hot dogs with Mike. He was telling me that his sister is into all the new age spiritualism stuff and that he has to listen to her blab about it so much he thinks he's practically an expert. So I asked him if he could tell her about this dream I had last night. I told him about it, and he started laughing so hard he spewed his milk all over me. So uh... I thought I could tell you guys about my dream and maybe someone could tell me why he thought it was so funny...cause I don't get it.
In my dream, I was outside washing the truck when Lex pulled up in one of those neat army truck things. You know...I think it's called a Hummer? Whatever. Anyway, he pulled up and stepped out of it, and it was weird because he was wearing a policeman's outfit. And even though I don't like cops that much, because of uh... um...some stuff that's happened with them one time, I didn't mind that he was wearing it. He had a gun and everything! Okay, right so, in the dream, Lex said that he had a helicopter standing by and he wanted me to go to it with him so he could show me the world. I told him that I wasn't sure because my dad might get mad, then Lex took out that baton thing and started smacking his hand with it and said 'don't make me get violent here Clark' and I don't know why I got all flushed and all. I mean Lex couldn't hurt me cause ...um…cause I work out so much on the farm and everything so I'm stronger than him, plus he's my friend and he would never hurt me even if he didn't know what he was doing and had a gun or whatever...uh yeah. So, like, cause he's my friend.... But anyway, I went with him.
We hopped in the hummer, and went off to old man Shanahan's field where we got into Lex's helicopter and took off. Lemme tell you, helicopters are so cool! Even in the dream the vibration was so strong, like you were sitting on top of a washing machine or something. My mom used to let me sit on top or the washing machine cause one time I crawled into the dryer before she turned it on and then she got really upset when she found me like 10 minutes later. She sat me on the washing machine while she was yelling at me, and let me tell you, it was so much fun. I pretended that machine was a bucking horse and....well never mind. Anyway, back to the helicopter. Well, I think it was from being so high up, but even that far inland it started to smell like the ocean after a while. Lex wouldn't tell me where we were going, and after I kept asking, he tried to put a blindfold on me, and we had to wrestle over it. Lex kept saying, "Clark, you have to put on the unitard!" But I was sure he didn't want me to change in front of him, so I kept saying no. I mean it’s not like in gym class, where all those guys are just walking around with a towel on them. One time coach said that we could walk around however we wanted to, as long as we were comfortable, but some of the guys thought that was 'really queer.' Yeah, I guess it was odd, but he was just trying to be nice I think. Anyway, we - me and Lex, not me and coach - must have been wrestling a long time, because it started to smell more and more like the ocean. Then the helicopter landed, and I got up and saw that we were in Washington DC! The nation's capital!
Then Lex took me over to the Washington monument and said he wanted us to make some special memories. Then we ran all the way up the steps of the Washington Monument and by the time we got to the very top, we were so hot and sweaty, and we had both taken off our shirts and were waving them around like flags and we didn't want to stop running so we kept running at the edge and then it's like we were flying! And we flew way, way, way up in the air, and then we came down in a gentle arc and landed right in that long, narrow water thing… the reflecting pool? And the best part was that there was this big splash! And we just laid there, and were really tired, but the water felt good because we were so hot.
So, really you guys, I don't know why Mike was laughing so hard! I mean, sometimes I have funny dreams where I'm a pirate and there's a very talkative parrot, his name is Sir Squawks A Lot, and he likes to sing songs about coconuts sometimes, but... this dream wasn't funny. It was exhilarating, and...new, and.... it made me feel free. Like I'd been stuck inside some little room my whole life and now! I'm out in the open air and flying and it felt great! But, Mike thought it was odd, and he kept pointing and laughing and saying he'd wasted the six-pack on me. I thought that was mean! I like beer! What a jerk!
What do you guys think? |
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Read 31 - Post |
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| 02:04am 12/09/2002 |
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Dude, the coolest people come to the golf course! Today Bruce came to play, he has this totally bitchin' car. It's lavender and silver all at the same time, a real mans car, and he's blasting the new Justin Timberlake song on his stereo system. Dad never lets me play anything that loud in his truck.
When he got out of the car, he did this really cool thing where he looked at me over his sunglasses. I think that's what rich people do, look you up and down. I know Lex does it a lot. And then he must have really liked my belt because he was staring at it. Dad said I needed a really manly belt buckle, like the NRA or Texas or something, but I didn't think it would look right. Then he mumbled something about Twinkies, but mom never put one in my lunch, so I don't know what that was all about. But Bruce must have really liked my belt, because he kept looking at it, for a really long time.
I started to think that maybe something was wrong, like my shirt was untucked or my shoes untied. Actually, I kinda thought my fly was unzipped but I checked and it was just fine. Then he asked if I came here often. I told him I came every day, and he kind of smirked at me, like Lex does when we talk about how many cucumbers he's ordering for the next week. Lex seems to find organic produce to be funny, I guess when you have that much money you're allowed to be a little odd. See, that's the good thing about this job, is that lots of rich people come here and help me understand Lex more. Sometimes he confuses me, like Chloe did when we were 13.
Bruce asked if I would be his caddy, but I was about to go to lunch, and Mike was waiting for someone to service so I told him no. He said maybe he'd come back tomorrow and we could whack the balls around. I told him that I'd be thrilled to hold his balls and clubs, but I hadn't the slightest clue of how to play with him. Then he told me he'd be happy to educate me... "educate," just like that! Someday I'll be rich and I can talk all fancy like that. |
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Read 44 - Post |
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| da what? |
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| 04:20pm 02/09/2002 |
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mood:  confused
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okay, did i really write that? they should really not let people use the internet when drunk.
no, i am not going to share what happened on friday. well, not just yet. but for the record, mike is a very feminine guy!
chicks clark thinks are hot:
chloe sullivan
mila kunis
jessica alba
gillian anderson
kristin kreuk
lucy liu
cameron diaz
zhang ziyi
kate bosworth
michelle rodriguez
britney spears |
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Read 16 - Post |
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| 03:25am 31/08/2002 |
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Boobies! Clark Kent likes BOOBIES! |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| mike's theory and hot tub mayhem |
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| 09:20pm 27/08/2002 |
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mood:  tired
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i hate my stupid job... i don't understand why dad wants me to work here, when i know he needs the help around the farm. but i figure, if i have to do it, i might as well make the best of it, so i was hanging out with some of the other guys sunday night, and they started talking about how the richer the guy, the crappier the tipper. being the naive new guy, i counter this with how lex is always giving me really big tips when i deliver vegetables over to his place.
okay, i have to ask: why does everyone on the damn planet know about that truck? christ.
and for the last time, he is not my sugar (or any other type of) daddy!
it started with that time i was rumored to have left luthor manor half-clothed in the middle of the night, didn't it? that was completely innocent! really! rilly, if you prefer! we'd been hanging out in the hot tub and had splashed water around a little too much and my shirt got soaked. happens all the damn time! apparently five feet from the tub is not a safe distance to keep your clothes dry.
just the clark kent daily psa.
anywho, apparently next friday night we're going to try this "six beers theory" that mike found on the net. they seem to think i'm a perfect candidate. i'll try to take that as a compliment. i should... shouldn't i? |
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Read 18 - Post |
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| hi!!! |
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| 02:19pm 25/08/2002 |
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mood: relaxed
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sorry for the recent slackage in my journal entries. my dad's been working me to death around here. apparently mom told my dad about my new "career abmition" and he decided to take action. wants to beat the old-fashioned "american work ethic" in a little further. unfortunately when he told me this i was then all, "you mean marathon tv watching and frivolous lawsuits? mrs bernard berated me yesterday when she caught me buying a mountain dew. i think we could get her for mental pain and anguish..." *dad grumbles* "no? how about 'public humiliation'?" i don't think he liked it. no sense of humor, i swear.
either way, the next day he came up to me after i'd finished my chores saying he'd found me a job, and if i still planned on them supporting me through college, i had to take it. you are now looking at the newest caddy at ruby hill golf course. fuc... (damn, they read this don't they?) so i spent all of friday and saturday lugging around the golf bags of overweight and/or balding, middle-aged golfers. as if that wasn't enough, it was about 107 on the fairway with nasty humidity. the tips were pretty decent, luckily. came out of it with over $100 in my pocket. of course most of that was spent beforehand on clothes following their snotty little dress code.
but seriously... i have to wake up now at like 5:00 in order to get all my chores done in time. since i'm the new guy, they have me doing the 6:30 tee times and i usually don't get off until 3 or 4, depending on how slow the groups are. and if it's not your group, it's the slow pokes right in front of you. you know the type: refuse to leave a ball when it falls in knee-high grass, looking for it for ages. god forbid you lose the 50 cents it cost you. (even worse, it's usually the guys who play with the stolen range balls, lol.)
( lots of pointless quizzes. ) |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| a day at the lake |
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| 07:09pm 21/08/2002 |
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mood: drained
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i am so ready for school to start. (there's something i never thought i'd say!) for about the millionth time this summer, pete and i hung out at the lake today. mr. beretta, who technically owns it, just set up one of those diving platforms in the middle. there's not only a diving board, but also a slide! rich told me that he had been considering one of those water trampolines (how cool would that have been?) but decided that it would have been nothing more than a lawsuit waiting to happen. damn.
since according to the porch thermometer, it got up to 102 today, pretty much all of the high school crowd was out there. sarah and i got a belly flop contest started, which most of the guys (and a few girls!) joined in. apparently making a spectacle of yourself diving is a popular way to prove your masculinity. paul ended up winning with both a spectacular somersault and an enormous splat onto the water. he's got skills. i was runner up with the biggest splash overall. beth got special honors for hitting the water so hard that her top went flying off. (pete followed he around like a puppy for the rest of the day... you know, to make sure she was okay and everything, lol.)
okay, so maybe there are some good things about it still being summer vacation.
btw, orange county was damn funny! pete and i decided that after graduation, i would be exactly like jack black and just sit around all day in my underwear. of course this would require a change from boxers to briefs, but that's a sacrifice i'm willing to make. pete seems to think i could make a decent living with what he called my 'cock sucking lips'. i found that somewhat disturbing, but as i said with the underwear, it's a sacrifice i might be willing to make. hey, look at it this way: it's better than being a drug dealer.
early day tommorrow! ttfn! |
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Read 17 - Post |
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| i've got to get away... |
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| 05:13pm 20/08/2002 |
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mood: cheerful
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went to walmart with the moms today. (unfortunately there were no clues for sale, sorry lex.) i picked up this wicked john deere cookie jar. now i have a convenient place to store my empty carbhydrates while still remaining true to my mid-american farmboy value system!
on a sadder note, but still in the walmart vein-- under the threat of... something very very bad, i am being blackmailed into posting the following picture on this journal.
( move along, nothing to see here. )
anyways, off to pete's. he just got the orange county dvd! |
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Read 33 - Post |
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| Ask Clark! |
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| 07:20pm 19/08/2002 |
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mood: bored
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i was looking through some friends' journals and saw that they had this poll up where people could ask them anything they wanted to know. unfortunately i can't set one of those up, but i still want to do it. if you post a question in the comments, i'll answer them all in my next post.
ask away!! |
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Read 38 - Post |
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| welcome to my new live journal! |
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| 12:26am 19/08/2002 |
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mood: good
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i walked in on lex on this website a few days ago. he tried not to tell me what it was, but i threatened to wrestle him till he told me. Sure, he tried to play the tough guy, but he knows i'd beat him any day of the week. I actually had him in a head lock before he'd tell me what this was. Apparently everyone has one and noone told me. jerks.
chloe says everyone does all these survey things. lex calls them "meme" but i think he made up the word to sound smarter. not that you're not smart lex, but I know i've never heard of it before. So I'm doing this survey, i think it's silly because everyone in smallville knows what i look like, but here it goes:
( all about clark! ) |
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Read 16 - Post |
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clarkster's journal